Twist

Do you regret what you said
Or what you do?
Is that fear behind the fire
Or is it the embers fanning the flame?
Do you hate yourself for everything
All the kicking and gnashing of teeth
Or do you relish the very moments of it?
What makes this better- the sin
Or the saint?
Can you bear to look at me
Or is it too painful?
A lie or a truth?
Do you actually care for me at all
Or is this just too much fun for you to leave it all behind?
And where is God in all of this?
Is this your little dive into secularism,
Or is this a jaunt into fantasy?
Some flight on which I cannot remain,
Some journey in which I will be lost?
Am I something you cannot have
Someone you won't
Or the someone you've been waiting for?
I cannot decide for you. And I was over this a year ago.
One year. One year. One year.
And then it all fell apart.
Disappeared for months she said.
Wouldn't come back again she said.
I can finally regain my composure she said.
But in the midst of the confusion
I'm still looking for You
She said
Hunger hurts but starving works
When it costs too much to love